Wednesday, February 23, 2011

The Capitalist Dictionary: "Just in Time"

The following definition is quoted from:
The Xsters Unabashed Dictionary of the Capitalist Language, by tov. X

Just in Time (also as JIT)

  1. Practice by which large industrial capitalists avoid the consequences of their bad decisions by foisting off those consequences on workers and small jobbing shops (a small “jobbing shop”, aka “subcontractor” is some guy with a lathe who perhaps employs 5 machinists who are desperate for work because he and those 5 machinists have been crowded off the shop floor and marginalized into this “small business” by the large industrial capitalist ).
  2. When specialized to inventory Just in Time refers to the alacrity with which the cheap chiselling capitalist absconds with all the profit while the poor bastard with the lathe (i.e., “subcontractor”) and his further exploited workers get squat. The aforementioned cheap chiseller had this in mind from the start and wrote it into his order to the subcontractor, “you must deliver 500 Left Whatsit units to me to within 30 seconds of the time that my workers are to bolt them to the Framistan Assembly. Don't call me. I'll call you.”
  3. Though most often specialized to inventory in the public ruminations of bourgeois “economists”, Just in Time generalizes to a host of such slippery manoeuvres covering the whole field of labour relations and commerce and is talked of in this way by capitalists as in, “I say Jeeves-- I dropped that hot potato Just in Time, what!” Said spud being perhaps the company that was left bankrupt Just in Time for the cheap chiseller that owned it to abscond with the cash on deposit that was to cover wages owed his workers, and for him to stay a step ahead of the banksters that backed his action.

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