The Third International after Lenin

Sunday, December 20, 2009

The Real War on Christmas

Words by Товарищ X and original art by Tim Hosler

Rudolph's Revenge Hits Merchant of Misery

The Real War on Christmas

The real "War on Christmas" is waged by capitalist forces gathering on the right, and our Santa is not going to take it lying down. This year, packing his dependable Golden Shovel, he is wreaking Rudolph's Revenge on a notorious merchant of misery, several times distinguished as Grinch of the Year, Wal-mart.

"This is not a war of ideas," says Santa, "this is class warfare." He explained that forces on the right are using a time worn tactic against workers and the oppressed by casting the War on Christmas in religious terms. "Religion", he continued, "is the sigh of the oppressed creature, the heart of a heartless world, and the soul of soulless conditions. It is the opium of the people." He furthermore called on those engaged in the struggle to give up illusions about their conditions, to organize , to fight back, and to continue the fight until a better world is won for all.

"This is not a snow shovel that I'm packing here," he said. "It is an emblem of our role in this historic struggle. We are, together, the gravediggers of capitalism. So, don't just stand there counting your change-- get to digging!"

He cautioned us to arm ourselves against the seasonal onslaught of "free market" propaganda. "Freedom," said Santa, "is a good reindeer to ride. But to ride where?" The Wal-marts and their apologists,as he explained, seek "market freedom," the freedom to make huge profits while pursuing the freedom to pauperize workers, the freedom to bust unions, the freedom to leech off of community resources, etc. "The world can not any longer afford to grant such freedoms," said Santa. "Don't be suckered in by the unremitting din of the season's buy-my-crap music. I release you from the seasonal obligation to buy stuff for each other, package it in over-priced paper, label it with a lame-o card and give it away on the 25th of December."

"Give the gift of solidarity this year," he said with a wink. "Let another worker know that their injury is your injury, and that together you can stand against it. Stand with the oppressed so that they can rise from their knees. I like where this is going. Let's take that sweet freedom ride together...."

His voice faded as his sleigh streaked to it's next target, and the workers, inspired now, were heard to chant, "Ho, ho, damned ho, capitalism's got to go!"

1 comment:

  1. Comrade Claus has a very clear alalysis. His action, delivering those steaming piles of Xmas cheer to Wal-mart, is right on Target (Hmmm... there's a thought).

    My own mood is more reflective just now-- thinking back over year 2009 and asking
    WWMD what would MARX do?