Товарищ Х: All Hail EmoBracelet!

'EmoBracelet' tells traders when

they need a time-out to prevent Repetitive Speculation Injury

Товарищ Х suggests a design change to the maker of the EmoBracelet, a sort of mood-ring-for-the-wrist billionaires bauble that changes color and pattern to match the purported feelings of its wearer. Have it instead flash these words of encouragement, straight from the Marxist Update masthead, "JUMP YOU FUCKER." If that does not produce the hoped-for result, perhaps a jolt of 220V mains current would do the trick. This could be sold as an accessory cord terminating in a retro hairpin connector to be plugged into the nearest wall outlet on cue.

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Товарищ Х is a political activist and composer who lives in Cleveland, Ohio.